100

I vent a lot.

I cry a lot.

I complain about the dog and the kid's attitude.

Hardly anything is worth coming back for.

Yet, my friends, you all come back. And I love you for that. Truly, I do.

So here are my 100 things. Good luck getting through it. It bores me to tears.

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100) I HATE feet.

99) I had such a fantastic childhood that some would say, that's the reason I feel life is so disappointing.

98) I love Sesame Street still to this day.

97) I believe my mother still talks to me and watches out for me like an angel on my shoulder.

96) I have reason to believe she has saved me from dying on a few occasions.

95) I believe in psychics and psychic abilities.

94) I believe in the afterlife and past lives.

93) I believe that one of my past lives was being a part of the Tudor Family from the 1500's.

92) I have a keen sense of "reading other's personalities"...and I have never been wrong with my judgments.

91) I had all the numbers screwed up on this list and no one noticed, but me, so I had to redo the whole thing!!!

90) I love to laugh to the point of peeing.

89) I think I’m funnier than I really am.

88) I'm dreadful in math. I still use my fingers to count...Past 10.

87) Fa was born on December 20, 2003 and I will never, ever be the same again inside and out.

86) My cat Pud died one month after Fa was born…he was 20 and my “first-born”.

85) I can’t live without coffee, chocolate chip cookies and “your love and affection”.

84) My iPod is filled with 80’s hair bands and not much else. My husband makes fun of me.

83) Mr. Big’s albums are all on there too…

82) …Along with TNT and Queensryche.

81) I am a very private person…I am constantly thinking…”What am I doing here?” Most of my closest friends don't know about the things I put here.

80) I love me some Young and the Restless.

79) I was born one year after that show aired and have been literally watching it my whole life.

78) I am a “motherless daughter” and I will never accept it.

77) I have the sweatiest armpits known to man.

76) I suffered from post partum depression (I refuse to capitalize the disorder).

75) I’ve “done it” in some crazy places…

74) I only really like a few “select” people. (In real life)

73) I was a "Metal Head" in High School. No kidding. High, blonde hair and all.

72) I go to the dermatologist regularly for a few things I’d rather not discuss…ever. Don’t ask. I won’t tell.

71) I hate PMS, PPD and Pennies. (They all take up too much time and space)

70) I love funny movies and movies that make me cry. But definitely not scary movies. Ever since Fa was born, I have nightmares.

69) Fa has night terrors and I don’t know how to handle them without crying afterwards.

68) I used to teach dance and I wish I never gave it up (I'm a quitter you know).

67) I wish they made “Magic Eraser” for life mistakes instead of scuff marks.

66) I LOVE to sing in the car…especially for Fa.

65) I taught her how to “bang her head” and make "devil horns" to the metal we listen to together. She'd rather metal than Laurie Berkner.

64) I melt when Fa looks at me and smiles, hugs me, kisses me, breathes.

63) I am a crier, I’m not kidding you, I cry over everything.

62) I am not good at confrontation with anybody, including my husband. And I trust him more than anything else...

61) I sometimes let Fa hang out in her room, just a little longer than necessary.

60) I am afraid Fa will not love me when she grows up.

59) I'm afraid I'll leave her like my mother left me.

58) I’d literally die without her.

57) I envy people who can communicate by merely talking. Because when it’s my turn to talk, I stutter and fight to find the right words, turn bright red. Then, I panic.

56) I can’t take a bath without getting the dreaded yeast infection.

55) The Pro and I went to a Calistoga Spa in California and took a mud bath and I had to be rushed to the Napa County emergency room that night, Damn Yeasties.

54) I am afraid of the dark.

53) I am not afraid of dogs.

52) I wish I was liked by everyone, but I know I’m not.

51) I truly believe family shouldn’t be forced upon you. Friends on the other hand…you chose them, you be nice to them.

50) I have a master’s degree to be a reading teacher that I don’t think I’ll ever use.

49) I love to read, but I don’t have a favorite author.

48) I’ve had “my share” of boyfriends (Including one addicted to heroine).

47) I get jealous.

46) I like to people watch.

45) I always think others are watching me too.

44) I am a fine fan of flatulence and all jokes featuring farting.

43) I also admire alliteration.

42) I love using nicknames for the people I love. In fact, I never use the real names of the people I love. Fa & The Pro have about two tons of nicknames each!

41) I am poor at punctuation.

40) I have a few pieces of children’s stories written, but I don’t have the guts to send them out.

39) My laptop’s name is Max.

38) I'm too sexy for this blog.

37) I can’t believe you got this far in my list.

36) My daughter is getting better at her shyness and I am overjoyed.

35) I was so shy as a kid, it was painful.

34) When it comes to personality, Fa is just like my husband and me, and that scares me.

33) I’m not the greatest “domestic engineer” out there.

32) I don’t cook. Ever.

31) I’ve peed my pants as an adult more than once.

30) I’ve been so drunk, I’ve puked, in public.

29) I used to love the “smell” of pot. I still do…but I don’t indulge (anymore).

28) Speaking of "Pot" I hate potty training.

27) I sometimes wish Fa was older, younger, and would never change, all at the same time.

26) Sarcasm is my favorite form of flattery.

25) I love Fa’s smell…especially her feet.

24) I have a soft spot in my heart for musicians, bikers and guys with long hair.

23) The Pro is “none of the above”.

22) I’m still not sure I want to have another child.

21) I wish I knew how to play the drums.

20) I have separation anxiety and other anxieties as well.

19) I’ll snap your neck for a chocolate chip cookie.

18) If you get into a fight at the bar…I’ll go get the bouncer.

17) I’ve always loved my boobs.

16) I have 2 tattoos and I’m working on a third.

15) I used to have my belly button pierced because my abs were sweet, but now I keep my flab-u-lous jelly-belly under wraps at all times.

14) My ears are pierced too. (5 times in the left ear, 4 times in the right)

13) I hate being outside…unless I’m at the beach with a Corona and that, my friend is impossible with a preschooler.

12) I love Reality TV.

11) I still want my MTV.

10) I blush over everything.

9) I like to say the f* word all the fucking time.

8) I'm a loner, a rebel. Really.

7) I frustrate easily. Then, I get mad at Fa, when she does the same.

6) I am a teacher in my other life BF (before Fa).

5) I am a mother who wears combat boots.

4) I still (sometimes) get proofed in bars.

3) I love to dance at parties. (and I’ve never done it on a table, with a lamp shade on my head)

2) I love e-mail better than face to face conversation or talking on the phone.

1) I like Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer.